How to Make Amends The Value of Making Amends in Recovery

It is freedom from behaviors that do not live up to the new life in sobriety I am choosing to live. Talk with your sponsor or others in your recovery community about what has worked for them. If your actions match your intentions and you reach out in person, you are doing the next right thing to right past wrongs. And remember, if you are feeling ashamed about mistakes made and damage done during your using days, you are not your disease.

Step 9: The Best 5 Tips for Living Amends

By confronting past mistakes rather than hiding from them, you replace guilt with self-respect and hopelessness with renewed connection. This becomes an important step on the path to becoming the person you aspire to be. In Alcoholics Anonymous, making amends must be completed to finish the steps.

Terms and Conditions

This what is Oxford House way, you can move forward with your recovery and face the future without staying stuck in a cycle of worry about your past actions. It is important to understand that a simple apology may not be enough to undo the damage you have done. Some people might not be ready to meet with you quite yet, and that’s OK. It helps to make a more concrete and serious effort to express that you know what wrongs you have done.

• It is not a time to make excuses for our behavior instead, it’s an open door for the wronged person to express themselves.
• Once we award the scholarship, the recipient must agree to all terms sent by email.
• Think of amends as actions taken that demonstrate your new way of life in recovery, whereas apologies are basically words.

Go here to begin the process to secure a scholarship to a sober living community. Individuals should reflect on the relationships they seek to amend and consider the potential impact of https://universoaquera.com/2020/11/13/alcohol-use-disorder-what-it-is-symptoms-treatment-3/ their actions. If revisiting a past hurt may lead to further distress, it might be better to pursue indirect or living amends instead.

Leave out the “but” and listen

But amends are so much more than just making a list and saying you are sorry, and this is where it becomes important to understand the difference between making an amends and making an apology. Making amends fosters clarity, self-forgiveness, and relief from guilt, which is healing. It also offers others a chance to gain resolution or a deeper understanding of your recovery journey. Repairing previous harm also assists in helping you rebuild important relationships which may have been impacted by addiction. Sometimes, making direct amends to someone may lead to further harm.

What Step in AA Is Making Amends?

• In these cases, reflect on whether reaching out is to clear your own conscience at the other person’s expense.
• Step 8 is a challenging list to write because this process requires you to hold yourself accountable for your mistakes.
• Living amends are about making long-term lifestyle changes that reflect a commitment to sobriety and personal growth.
• And we don’t mean just in terms of you making amends and living a life of recovery.

While not everyone you wronged will be open to listening to your amends, you must still make an effort. Therefore, it is crucial to acknowledge how your actions and behaviors impacted those around you. If you are wondering what does “making amends” mean, you are not alone. An essential part of addiction treatment and recovery is learning how to offer amends for your actions and behaviors while you were under the influence of various substances.

There are so many kinds of situations and they all need to be taken into consideration on an individual basis. By integrating humility, forgiveness, and love into their approach, individuals in recovery can make meaningful strides in their personal journeys, promoting long-lasting change and improved relationships. Different types of amends help individuals in recovery correct past behaviors and improve relationships. Understanding these different categories can facilitate the amends process. The process requires careful consideration and a humble, heartfelt approach.

Accepting outcomes and working towards rebuilding relationships fosters closure and forward movement in recovery. Feeling ashamed of past mistakes should not prevent you from making amends. Recovery is about aligning living amends your actions with your intentions, which often did not match during the time period of your active addiction. A few months back, she was traveling for an extended period of time. Well, the time came to continue my living amends to her and redo her entire master suite, including her bathroom.

• Sometimes, the person being approached for amends may need more time to be willing or ready to engage.
• You may also want to tread carefully with toxic family members you must make amends to but need to keep a safe distance from for your sobriety’s sake.
• Just as each person needs an individualized approach to alcohol addiction treatment, your approach to making amends in AA may look completely different from someone else’s.
• We make a promise to pay an amount we can every month and begin on the day we make the face-to-face amends, and we have a set timeline for when all the money will be paid back.
• For, it is with this momentous step that you alone are able to bring peace and closure to shattered relationships.
• We come to understand that we are good people with a bad disease.

To learn more about our program or to apply for our scholarship, please contact our team members today. Made a list of all persons we had harmed and became willing to make amends to them all. Arrange to speak with the other person – while COVID-19 has complicated this process, making amends face-to-face is encouraged. If appropriate, you can let the person know how amends are related to staying sober. However, your primary goal should be to acknowledge that you have done wrong and would like to make up for it.

Forgiveness

In fact, every day I make a living amends to my husband, son, Mom, and brother Ricky. It is not a time to make excuses for our behavior instead, it’s an open door for the wronged person to express themselves. They get the opportunity to express how my actions affected them. Step Nine states that we make amends “except when to do so would injure them or others.” We don’t want our actions to cause further damage, harm or stress. In those cases, we can make amends in a broader sense by taking actions like donating money, volunteering our time or providing care.